4 Tips to create resolutions that last!

It’s that time of the year again…

Though goals and good intentions are welcome any day of the year, a fresh new start to the year is a good time to benefit from this collective wave of energy where we take stock and look ahead at what is to come in the following months. Though I believe it is important to always be mindful of what we want daily, what inspires us and in which direction we want to go, for many of us, this time of year adds extra gusto the the meaning of clean slate, goal setting and fresh start. Here are some tips I have put together that might lend some insight into creating resolutions (goals) that last for this New Year.

1. From the Heart: It is important your resolutions come from a genuine heart desire, not from “shoulds, coulds, have-tos, ought-to-do’s”.   Any wishful, ego-driven desires, often dictated by others, or the idealized image of ourselves, are generally not authentic and will likely fall by the way side. Instead can you shift your focus to what inspires you. To what you actually want to do but have not gotten around to doing. What energizes you and really matters to you? Try and dedicate your resolution and commitment to something of this nature, something that feels inviting and exciting, rather than dutiful and dreadful. Make it easy and unique to your natural expression, like a gift you are giving yourself, not an obligation or task to add to the already daunting ‘to-do’ pile!

2. Commit and Gain Support: Choose a close friend or family member and speak your resolution out loud.  Does it feel true?  Does it feel right?  Does the timing feel ripe?  These are all questions to ask yourself out loud, to ready yourself to get committed to your goal. And maintain this relationship with your friend/family for accountability, to help stay on track, focused and supported.

keep reading the 2 remaining tips by clicking below

3. Start small: According to Christine Carter, Ph.D. from the Greater Good Science Center the science of change suggests that the best way to make a change is to start with turtle steps, in other words, start small! Choose one goal and devote your time and awareness to it each day. Don’t overshoot the goal by projecting into the future three months from now, feeling it is unattainable and getting defeated before you get started. Start small, back up to a goal for the day or for the week and proceed from there. And remember with any change, we can often take one step forward and 2 steps back. We need to remember that it is the process that counts most not the end result. Carter also suggests that if we do keep stumbling upon defeat with this new goal, you may just need to make the goal easier.

4. Being and Feeling rather than Doing and Thinking:. The more we think we have to do something or have something to be happier, the farther away from attaining resolve we will be.  Who you are and what you feel  in the world is what creates your moment to moment satisfaction.   We need to change the way we perceive resolutions so they don’t lead to endless dissolution year after year! Try focusing on how you want to feel rather than what you have to do. For example: you may want to feel healthier this year, fitter, more energetic. Rather than setting a goal of losing 10 pounds by March, can you be curious about what would it would be like to feel healthier. Imagine what would be different in your life as a result of this new feeling. What would you be doing? What would you be feeling? What would be different? Spend time with this answer and allow it to expand within your consciousness as often as you like. And you may find this aligns you with the result of this goal more easily. For some the feeling of being healthy might look like adding an extra 20 minute walk to their day on one particular day, and taking a 15 minute cat nap the next. Can you be open to your commitment to this new feeling, rather than how it needs to happen and what it needs to look like and follow the flow and be in the process and enjoy it!?

To your well-being and discovery! Happy New Year!

Have you ever taken a 21 day challenge? 21 days to meditation or intuition? Are you up for it?

Of course I’m all for intuition and meditation but I’m not one to jump up at the prospect of a 30 day, 21 day or even  a 14 day challenge to do so.  I guess I’m more into experiencing the everyday challenges that arise naturally or that I seek out without a predetermined end date. I’m all for action and inspiration, and I’m all for determination and the realization of a vision (which I  find in my own unique way, thankfully), but I do feel slightly more repelled than compelled to enlist in a 21 day challenge.  As a result, I am interested to hear from those of you who have signed up to a 21 day challenge and what you experienced .  I imagine you experienced great benefit and I would love to hear about it in the comment box below.

Science seems to suggest that repetitive behavior for 21 days instills in us new habits.  So, please share what the benefits have been like for you?

The inspiration for this blog post, is due in fact to a 21 day challenge!  The Chopra Centre’s 21 day meditation challenge to be specific,which I was introduced to just this past week by my friend Tammy in California.  Though I have not taken on the challenge, I am drawn back to their web site almost each day to enjoy the daily meditations posted. Daily meditations are guided by Davidji- a very like-able and insightful meditation guide who is also the Lead Meditation Teacher and Dean of Chopra Center University ( Some days he posts audio meditations and other days he posts beautiful video meditations). In turn I want to share them with you.  So I am benefiting from this 21 day meditation challenge in my own way, at my own pace.  Perhaps you’ll enjoy them too!?

As a life coach I understand the philosophy and appeal of these 21 day challenges.  Accountability, self-responsibility and repetition of behaviors while gaining the support of  like minded individuals is extremely motivating.  And come to think of it,  maybe it’s something I could add to my list of  personal to do’s and also professional services that I offer going forward.  Maybe something like  ‘Julie’s 21 day intuition challenge‘ might  provide another way to support individuals looking to connect to their intuition ?

Wouldn’t taking 21 days to commit to anything you feel inspired by enrich your life ?

hmmm…

Though I began this blog post with a mild distaste for the idea of a 21 day challenge, in a matter of minutes, okay maybe hours, I’ve developed a new found  interest. I can’t say I am going to jump to it, but I realize that for whatever one decides to pursue and commit to wholeheartedly and with devotion, the journey is sure to be rich.  Please share your comments below and let me know what it’s been like for you and any other thoughts you may want to share.

Did you know that you can become happier?

Despite what you may think and despite what you may be genetically predisposed to ( ‘your happiness set point’), Sonia Lyubormirsky in the ‘How of Happiness’  reassures us that,  “the heritability of happiness’, as I’ve heard her refer to it by, is only 50% . Through her pioneering research Sonja Lyubormirsky, Ph.D. professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside shares with us that of the remaining 50% that does not include our happiness set point,  10% of our happiness is affected by life circumstances (marital status, job, health, finances) and 40% is the amount we can work with to increase our happiness level.  This is the good news.  40% Sonja Lyubomirsky says is the “40 percent solution”,  the amount we can work with through intentional activities to boost and increase our happiness level. So in fact the capacity to feel better is within our reach and is an important responsibility for us all, which Sonja refers to as “happiness work”. She says in her book “Pursuing happiness takes work, but consider that this “happiness work” will be the most rewarding work you ever do”. She also shares that happiness is “realizable and one of the most vital things you can do for yourself and those around you”.

Tune in to hear my conversation with Sonja Lyubormisky on Wednesday February 17th at 4pm ET and find out:

• The 12 evidence -based  happiness strategies she suggests we participate in to increase our happiness
• What determines our level of happiness
• Why we should care so much about being happier
• Happiness myths- what REALLY makes us happy

You will be glad you joined us. And I will be too!

Listen live and to the archived show here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/heart-beat.

Other shows that relate to the field of Positive Psychology can be listened to here and  include my conversation with Barb L. Fredrickson, Ph.D. author of Positivity, Dacher Keltner, author of Born to be Good and Robyn McKay, Ph.d Creativity Researcher and Positive Psychologist. All can be found and listened to here

Thank you for tuning in and enjoy! Always feel free to share your comments and questions with me. I love hearing from you and knowing how I can make the shows speak directly to you.

Are We Wired For Good?

Author and Professor of Psychology at UC Berkley Dacher Keltner kindly joined me in conversation this month on Heart Beat to discuss his new book “Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life”. We had a very compelling and enjoyable conversation about the science behind living a meaningful life (you can listen to it below).

On an intuitive level you may feel your innate goodness and know your capacity to share more of it.  You may also feel that we are all made to be good however deep inside the potential is.  Thanks to Dacher Keltner’s work, now there is scientific evidence to support your hunch and knowing, and research that suggests we are more than motivated  by self-interest and competition, according to Dacher Keltner, we are wired for good. In fact Keltner suggests our survival depends on who is the kindest.  You can listen below to find out how.

In this conversation you’ll hear about Dacher’s remarkable work  and personal experience with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, the importance of touch (“touching triggers trust and generosity”), laughter, prosocial emotions (love, compassion, gratitude, awe etc..) valuable and fascinating research on the importance of our vagus nerve , “which is centrally involved in compassion” (along with recommendations of how to cultivate it) and simply, how we are born to be good. I highly recommend reading “Born to Be Good”. It is personal, extremely informative, insightful and it is  research rich with a lot of heart. Keltner’s continuation of Darwin’s little known work on human emotions shows that survival is actually a matter of who is the kindest. Have a listen and find out for yourself.  Enjoy your goodness!

Dacher Keltner on Laughter (from ” Born to be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life p.145):

” Laughter may just be the first step to Nirvana. When people laugh, they are enjoying a vacation from the conflicts of social living. They are exhaling, blowing out, and their bodies are moving towards a peaceful state, incapable of fight  or flight. People see their lives from a different point of view, with new perspective and detachment. Their laughter spreads to others in milliseconds, through the firing of networks of mirror neurons. In shared laughter people touch, they make eye contact, their breathing and muscle actions are in sync, they enjoy the realm of intimate play. Conflicts are softened, and often resolved. Hierarchies negotiated. Attraction and intimacy are created. …people move closer to one another in peaceful ways“.

You can find out more about Dacher Keltner’s work at the Greater Good Science Center here