I was away over the new year and on New Year’s eve I was randomly asked by a TV reporter from the local TV network what my resolutions were for 2012.

Up until that point I hadn’t taken much time to think about it.  I don’t even remember what I replied, I know that it must have been something about me not being a big fan of new year’s resolutions, but since she was asking me, and since there was a camera staring me in the face, I figured why not take the opportunity. So it went something like this “continuing to take one day at a time and to keep practicing on bringing my awareness to the present moment”. Simple, yet a big enough task for the year!

The reporter then followed up by asking me if I believe in the effectiveness of resolutions and if I could share my thoughts on the topic. Not an unlikely question that I was surprisingly eager to respond to (despite being caught off guard as I was taking a pause in the warm sun with my 8 month old baby outside of Whole Foods).  Again, though I don’t remember specifically what I said, it must have been something along the lines of  ” if making new year’s resolutions is something you choose to take on then – ‘listen to your heart, have the resolutions be authentic and let this energy propel you each day, not just on the 1st day of the year”. I also must have added that it is indeed a good time to ride on the collective wave of energy often focused on how we can create feelings of renewal, rejuvenation and transformation for the coming year.

All this to say, this brief interview got me thinking again about resolutions. I then remembered I wrote a blog post last year around this time about the exact topic. It served me to read it again and thought I would include it below. Please feel welcome to leave your comments!

All the best to you for 2012!

4 Tips to create resolutions that last!

It’s that time of the year again…

Though goals and good intentions are welcome any day of the year, a fresh new start to the year is a good time to benefit from this collective wave of energy where we take stock and look ahead at what is to come in the following months. Though I believe it is important to always be mindful of what we want daily, what inspires us and in which direction we want to go, for many of us, this time of year adds extra gusto the the meaning of clean slate, goal setting and fresh start. Here are some tips I have put together that might lend some insight into creating resolutions (goals) that last for this New Year.

1. From the Heart: It is important your resolutions come from a genuine heart desire, not from “shoulds, coulds, have-tos, ought-to-do’s”.   Any wishful, ego-driven desires, often dictated by others, or the idealized image of ourselves, are generally not authentic and will likely fall by the way side. Instead can you shift your focus to what inspires you. To what you actually want to do but have not gotten around to doing. What energizes you and really matters to you? Try and dedicate your resolution and commitment to something of this nature, something that feels inviting and exciting, rather than dutiful and dreadful. Make it easy and unique to your natural expression, like a gift you are giving yourself, not an obligation or task to add to the already daunting ‘to-do’ pile!

2. Commit and Gain Support: Choose a close friend or family member and speak your resolution out loud.  Does it feel true?  Does it feel right?  Does the timing feel ripe?  These are all questions to ask yourself out loud, to ready yourself to get committed to your goal. And maintain this relationship with your friend/family for accountability, to help stay on track, focused and supported.

keep reading the 2 remaining tips by clicking below

3. Start small: According to Christine Carter, Ph.D. from the Greater Good Science Center the science of change suggests that the best way to make a change is to start with turtle steps, in other words, start small! Choose one goal and devote your time and awareness to it each day. Don’t overshoot the goal by projecting into the future three months from now, feeling it is unattainable and getting defeated before you get started. Start small, back up to a goal for the day or for the week and proceed from there. And remember with any change, we can often take one step forward and 2 steps back. We need to remember that it is the process that counts most not the end result. Carter also suggests that if we do keep stumbling upon defeat with this new goal, you may just need to make the goal easier.

4. Being and Feeling rather than Doing and Thinking:. The more we think we have to do something or have something to be happier, the farther away from attaining resolve we will be.  Who you are and what you feel  in the world is what creates your moment to moment satisfaction.   We need to change the way we perceive resolutions so they don’t lead to endless dissolution year after year! Try focusing on how you want to feel rather than what you have to do. For example: you may want to feel healthier this year, fitter, more energetic. Rather than setting a goal of losing 10 pounds by March, can you be curious about what would it would be like to feel healthier. Imagine what would be different in your life as a result of this new feeling. What would you be doing? What would you be feeling? What would be different? Spend time with this answer and allow it to expand within your consciousness as often as you like. And you may find this aligns you with the result of this goal more easily. For some the feeling of being healthy might look like adding an extra 20 minute walk to their day on one particular day, and taking a 15 minute cat nap the next. Can you be open to your commitment to this new feeling, rather than how it needs to happen and what it needs to look like and follow the flow and be in the process and enjoy it!?

To your well-being and discovery! Happy New Year!

I invite you to tune in to my new radio series on Heart Beat titled Beyond “I Do”: Getting Married Consciously, inspired by my own upcoming June 2010 wedding. I am having a great time speaking with experts in the field to understand the significance behind what many call the ‘most anticipated and memorable event of one’s life’.  Beyond “I Do” goes deep into the significance of what it means to experience weddings as a rite of passage while examining the history, ceremony and psychology involved beyond just choosing cakes, dresses and bridesmaids.

I had to investigate why people kept telling me “this is the most important and special day of your life”. ” I know I am not alone in this quest but I had the intense desire to find out for myself what this rhetoric is all about.”  I am definitely having meaningful conversations with exceptional guests and I am enjoying it as it brings clarity, excitement and further meaning to myself and others asking similar questions”.

You can listen live here http://www.blogtalkradio.com/heart-beat . Archived shows can be found at the same address or at http://www.juliecusmariu.com/blog/radio-show-archives/.

Featured Guests include: Jean Houston internationally known psychologist, scholar, philosopher and teacher,  Stephanie Coontz historian and author of the award-winning book ‘Marriage: a  History’, Devaa Haley Mitchell interfaith minister, wedding officiant & spiritual life coach , Marion Light – CEO of Women in Bloom ,Robert Gass-Trained at Harvard in clinical psychology and organizational development & his partner of 37 years Judith  Ansara Gass, MSW, teacher and consultant , Sheva Carr Licensed doctor of Oriental Medicine and HeartMath trainer, Sheryl Paul counselor and Bestselling author of ‘ The Conscious Bride,’ Barbara Max Hubbard futurist and evolutionary leader and more.

All shows are archived and available here .

Tell your friends, their friends and all their friends. Bring your questions, and wedding angst and we’ll move through it together as we discover the meaning behind it all.

Thanks for tuning in. I look forward to hearing from you!

One of the most often asked questions when learning about intuition is ” How do I know if what I am listening to is actually my intuition and not something else, like a sudden impulse ? “  It is a great and important question.

When intuition comes through it is clear and crisp and carries an unemotional and neutral tone.  Intuition is grounding and calming and provides a feeling similar to what would be evoked by hearing the saying  ‘it fits like a glove” .  Impulse on the other hand is hurried and rushed and carries an urgency to it that instructs immediate action.  When impulse is the motivator it feels like the opportunity must be  immediately seized, regardless of the obstacles, for fear of the loss. Impulsivity feels  anxious and unsettling and creates a false sense of need. The ego fears annihilation and thus impulsivity kicks in as ego fights for its survival. When you’re acting on impulse you can be sure to be left with restlessness and an after taste asking for more.

Intuition always serves your well-being and development. Though it might not always feel easy to trust and follow through with, especially when it seemingly takes you of course in a new direction, intuition provides guidance that is supportive and wise.

Here are some tips to help determine if you are listening to intuition or impulse:

1. Sleep on it- Don’t act immediately.  Instead sleep on your decision for a couple of nights, let it rest, and see if the energy around your decision alters.

2. Keep checking in as you take the steps- Keep asking yourself how you feel as you move closer to making your decision. If you begin to feel anxious or hurried or things start to feel urgent, wait and come back to your decision a little later on. I experienced this the other day. I came across some conferences I really wanted to attend and felt convinced that I had to be there. As I took the steps to register it became increasingly clear that it wasn’t time for me to go. With each phone call and inquiry I made into the event, I could feel indifference rise in me and guidance that informed me it wasn’t the time.

3. How do you feel now? Check in with yourself after you have followed through with the decision and notice if you feel better, calmer, more relieved?  If you still find yourself wanting more or something else then impulse has come out on top this time around.

It takes practice to discern between intuition and impulse and with time the voices become easier to identify. Whether it is impulse you’ve recently acted on, or intuition, vital lessons about each voice can be learned from both experiences. With each new decision, action and outcome, we develop the wherewithal to know the difference. Simply put, intuition leaves us feeling calmer and clearer and leads us to greater well-being. The more  familiar we become with our intuitive voice the less inclined we will be to act on impulse.

Here’s to trusting your intuition!

Following your intuition is about being in the moment, constantly aware of your feelings, sensations and perceptions. There is nothing more you need to do other than be aware of what is going on for you and what feels true for you in the moment.  Once that moment is over, you’re already on to the next moment when you can again check in and see what is true for you then.  Relieve yourself of the responsibility of needing to know about what might or might not happen next week or in 6 months. If you can simply occupy yourself with the moment, (breathe, feel your body and tune in to what feels right for you), you will be on your way towards moving ahead and you will naturally be guided into the next right action. Whatever needs to show up for you will, as in each moment there is a revelation of  how and what you need for your next best step.  This is a process that takes practice and trust in oneself and in time gets easier and becomes more fulfilling.  As we tune in to each moment we  tune in to the most valuable source of wisdom we have access to,  the truth that resides within us.

To your awareness and self- discovery.

All the best!

If you want to read a recent blog post  about the ‘ I Need to Know Mind’ click here

APPLY HERE to ‘In Session with Julie’ on Heart Beat Radio

Life Coaching is a powerful and beautiful process that facilitates self-discovery and transformation on a very deep level. Coaching provides an on-going supportive relationship whereby the client’s strengths, values & desires are unearthed and expressed in their daily life. The coaching process catapults the client forward into living a richly authentic and inspired life.

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